How to Be More Compassionate: Mental Guide to Compassion

Compassion is a quality that is becoming scarce in the present world. It is compassion that helps us connect with ourselves, and others and also fosters better relationships. So, is it empathy? You might ask. But no, compassion takes a step forward from even empathy. Compassion is the desire to help and see people free from any and every suffering. With compassion, you can foster better emotional intelligence live in love, and provide love for everybody. Keep reading to find out more!

Compassion

This is simply a kind of warm presence when we are faced with difficult times. With compassion, you can expect to connect with the intense difficulty you face rather than turn your back on it. When a major disaster happens, we first feel empathy for the affected people. Then we acknowledge the common threads in the human condition and feel the pain as if it's our own.

So, what is self-compassion then?

Self-compassion involves treating yourself the way you would any other person when faced with difficult times. Imagine you have a friend who is feeling inadequate, you would surely sit with her, and make her understand that she is good enough and that this is just a phase right? The same way you would if you were feeling this said emotion. This is self-compassion.

Importance of Self-Compassion

Self-compassionate individuals are happier, and healthier, have increased motivation, less anxiety, and better relationships. In life when hardships hit, if you respond to yourselves with kindness and compassion, you become mindful of your struggles, and that changes your perspective. The resilience needed to cope with life is thus cultivated.

Myths about self-compassion

1. It will make you weak

Emotional feelings and kindness are often seen as a weakness. But the fact is that self-compassion gives you the strength that is needed to face life and its tests. Research also cites that people who are self-compassionate deal with trauma better and thus are more resilient.

2. It is the same as self-indulgent.

This is not true. Self-compassion inches more towards long-term health and well-being. Whereas self-indulgence is usually for short-term pleasure.

3. Self-criticism is a better motivator.

It is not. Self-criticism undermines one’s self-confidence and leads you further into the path of failure. With self-compassion, you stand rooted in kindness and are motivated to reach goals because you believe you are good enough.

How Can You Practice Self Compassion?

1. Write a letter to yourself.

As silly and funny as this seems, it is a practice that you will thoroughly enjoy. Write a letter to yourself in a compassionate voice. Every time you feel inadequate, or overwhelmed, write it all down. This will serve as your therapist in times of hardship and motivate you to keep pushing. If it's struggling for you to write, try this. Think of a dear friend of yours having these issues, now write a letter to that friend. This will bring you comfort when you need it the most.

2. Linda Graham’s awareness exercise

Resilience expert Linda Graham came u with an exercise that will help shift your awareness and bring acceptance to the moment. So, any time you feel a difficult emotion, you put your hand on your heart, empathize with what you are feeling, and say what you feel. Echo the emotion. Then rephrase the statements into something positive. Continue repeating the phrases until you can feel the internal shift: The compassion kindness and care for yourself becoming stronger than the original negative emotion.

3. Self-compassion meditation

Tara Brach, a Buddhist teacher has a four-step meditation practice to cultivate self-compassion. She coined it as an acronym RAIN.

- R: Recognize what is going on: Consciously feeling and acknowledging all that is going on. Every emotion, sensation, and feeling is to be accounted for. Most of the time the acceptance in itself is healing. Many times, we either ignore or run away from any troubles, and that makes us stuck.

- A: Allow the experience to be as it is: allowing the emotion to sit around and do nothing. This doesn’t mean we agree with the conviction, but just means that we are strong enough to deal with the shift.

- I: Investigate with a heart full of kindness: ask yourself, what is going on within me? How can I deal with it? What does this feeling want from me?

- N: Bring in natural awareness: Natural loving awareness occurs when identification with the self is loosened. This practice of non-identification means that our sense of who we are is not fused with any limiting emotions, sensations, or stories.

Let the compassionate heart soar on!

Compassion as a quality is very difficult to find. But for the best quality of life, you must practice self-compassion. We are sure that with the help of these strategies, you could definitely become more self-compassionate and find peace and comfort.